I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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