he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
