It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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