like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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