just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My dick has a subreddit
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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