I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
