Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize