Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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