So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
