just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize