First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize