I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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