North Korea, Best Korea!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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