He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
