I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
