got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
