U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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