do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Randomize
