based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
