6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
