remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
