Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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