Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
