i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
this beer tastes like vomit already
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
