I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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