There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
