in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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