if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Come share oat with me in your robe
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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