i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize