I think i peed on brittanys purse
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
