His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
