I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
