she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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