Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I love you.
Bad choice
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
