so that wasnt chicken after all
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
