I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
