Say something about gay babies.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
