Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
