remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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