Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
