he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
