Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
