fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
In America we eat man semen.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
