Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize