Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
