And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize