12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
