paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Randomize
