You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
