I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
