i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
