He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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