hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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