I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
