Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
