Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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