Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
