i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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