Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
