Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
