I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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