there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
