I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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