My pussy is not your playground.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
